


Silent treatment

by boleyn13



Series: Folie à deux [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Betrayal, Dubious Morality, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Folie a Deux, Gen, Guilt, Hydra (Marvel), Loki & Christian do what they want, Loki is a great boyfriend, Love, M/M, Magic, Murder Husbands, Protective Tony Stark, Psychopaths In Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29381757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: “I wanted to see what is going on between you and the turncoat. That question has been answered and new issues have arisen. We will need to have a chat about this. You see, Stark, despite my best efforts, I find myself in a rather delicate situation. I am not a man of many principles since they only serve to tie a man down. I have a soft spot for rules, but merely because there is a need for rules in order to break them. However, I do have indeed two rules that I will stick to no matter what. I will not lie to him. Also, if there is something I can do to put a smile on Christian’s face, I will do it. Christian would really like it if he died.”Almost a year after the fall of SHIELD Tony runs Nash, former Hydra member now turned informant and tries to befriend him. Maybe a little more than that. Unfortunately Nash has his own issues to work through and although Loki and Christian haven't been seen in months, they are in no way gone.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Male Character(s), Tony Stark/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Folie à deux [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1027904
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33





	1. Aphasia

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody, 
> 
> I seems like I can't quite let this universe go. This is a short three part story and it's already finished, so you don't have to worry about slow updates. 
> 
> This is something that I felt the need to explore and I wrote it down. Just a glimpse of what could happen after the events of Shared madness. Perhaps I'll even write more in the future, we'll see, also depends on whether you are interested or not :)
> 
> This story is the third part in a series and it will make no sense whatsoever if you aren't familiar with what has happened in the two previous parts. Read them, I hear they're rather good ;)
> 
> I have to tell you in all honesty that this one is going to be more Tony-centric, but of course Loki and Christian are going to make an appearnce, being their psychotic selves.
> 
> Have fun and tell me what you think! :D

At this point, when the first one in a long chain of events had sprung into action, Tony had hoped that this period of his life was over and done with. Finito. Terminé. Sayonara. Good riddance. Naturally the universe instantly became aware of the breath of relief Tony Stark had dared taking and it rushed to punch him in the gut. Slap him across the face. Kick him in the groin.

Or even worse – go after his heart.

The universe could go and fuck itself.

On this grey Thursday morning Tony was still in a state of blissful ignorance, having no idea what was about to hit him. Granted, his expectations for the day weren’t very high. Beset by the upsetting knowledge that he had an appointment with the feds Tony barely made it out of bed. Like any other average citizen Tony wasn’t very fond of them. Also, this was the only context in which he would accept being labelled average.

Unfortunately this was one of the rather inconvenient side-effects of SHIELD falling apart. Now the duty to go after Hydra had fallen to the FBI and of course to the Avengers. As a result Tony had to pilgrimage to Washington every once in a while. A thorn in his side, but at least the FBI wasn’t festering with a secret Nazi cult. To be honest, a big part of Tony was perfectly happy that he was being treated as a mere associate. No more Fury to order him around, no more questionable methods he had to begrudgingly agree with as he was no longer part of the machinery. Tony had always enjoyed being his own boss and every now and then consulting with the feds was a little price to pay.

Today’s meeting took only 40 minutes and Tony was already on his way out. Still enough time to save the day by doing something entertaining. How long had it been since he had been surfing? By surfing he meant lying on a Hawaiian beach, sipping margaritas and watching other people with better bodies surf. That sounded like a good idea. It was December, it should be warm in Hawaii, right? Tony was going to find that out asap.

All he needed was to…

His thoughts got interrupted by somebody bumping into him. Shoulders jostling and no apology, obviously FBI, no need to ask questions. Guy in a suit that simply walked past Tony, following another guy who…

Wait. Was that…?

Already halfway across the entrance hall Tony stopped dead in his tracks when he recognized the familiar face. The hair had grown longer and its colour had changed. An unnatural blonde that bordered on white, putting Billy Idol to shame. Clad in a long grey coat with a high collar he was heading for the stairs. Quickly Tony put his most endearing character trait on display – talking without taking even a second to think about it.

“Doc!”

Nash wasn’t the only one to come to a sudden halt and do a look around. Tony wasn’t going to make a complete fool out of himself by waving to draw even more attention to himself. Instead he quickly made his way over and during that he noticed the other two guys in suits eyeing him up suspiciously. Not far behind Nash, they kept their distance, but didn’t move. One of them was the one who had bumped into Tony. Ignoring them Tony took in the sight of Nash and felt a genuine smile spread on his own face. “Fancy running into you here. Weird, isn’t it? Usually the feds are known for breaking everybody’s door down, but they expect us to come to them. Good to see you, honestly. How have you been?”

Although the hint of smile appeared on Nash’s face he didn’t answer. Instead he reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out his phone. He even started typing on it. Just as Tony started to get irritated Nash turned the phone around and Tony could see what he had written down.

_Nice to see you too, Mr. Stark. I prefer a little inconvenience to having my door broken down. I am doing fine, thank you. You?_

Ironically Tony felt his throat restricting. The discomfort was instant and he remembered hearing a rumour. “Good. I’m good. So… your voice…”

Being an insensitive dumbass Tony couldn’t come up with what he wanted to say and the man who literally could not talk had to help him out.

_Damaged vocal chords. Botched surgery. It’s fine. No need to say that you are sorry._

Tony swallowed the words that had already been lying on the tip of his tongue. “I wasn’t going to say sorry.”

Nash huffed, smiling once more. _Of course you were. Everybody does._

Feeling challenged Tony grinned and shook his head. “Well, as an experienced psychologist you should know that I am not just anybody.”

_I would not dare to assume anything different_

A couple of things to say came to Tony’s mind, but for some reason he thought they were stupid or inappropriate. Normally that didn’t stop him from voicing them, now it did. Although the silence only lasted for a few seconds Tony found it so uncomfortable it was almost too much to bear. “Uhm… so what are you doing here?”

_My new job. Providing information on Hydra._

Right, Tony also remembered hearing about the deal Nash had struck. Telling the authorities everything he knew instead of a prison sentence that would last several decades didn’t sound like the worst idea.

“Okay and who are your two fans? They look like they’re waiting for your autograph and are quite jealous of me for stealing your attention.” Tony nodded towards the agents who were anything but subtle and Nash didn’t need to turn around to know who he was talking about.

_They are “protecting” me. Actually they’re making sure that I don’t run away_

“Got it. Do you sometimes drive around in circles during the middle of the night just to annoy them?”

Nash laughed soundlessly and Tony’s knees were almost buckling. A sensation came over him that he failed to describe. It was sadness and joy mingled together

_No, I haven’t. They’re just doing their job_

Tony sighed in disappointment. “You are no fun.”

 _That might be true. It was nice to see, but_ I _have to go. The FBI doesn’t like to be kept waiting_

“Sure. Yeah. Off you go. Take care.”

Only when Tony watched Nash walk up the stairs he noticed the red scarf wrapped around the psychologist’s neck. The sight of it almost made Tony nauseous. He only left the building when Nash and his two shadows had disappeared from Tony’s view. What an odd meeting. Everything at SHIELD had gone to shit about nine months ago and during all that time Tony didn’t have any reason to think much about anything related to that dumpster fire. The couple from hell had seemingly disappeared from the surface of the planet and Steve was dedicating all of his time to take out Hydra, Tony only got called in when something needed to be blown up. This arrangement suited Tony perfectly and therefore Nash and everybody else linked to those damned events had not been on Tony’s mind.

Running into Nash and being blatantly confronted with the loss of his voice and the scarf to hide a scar had made Tony feel uneasy. It was high time he headed off to Hawaii.

***

The day at the beach had been ruined before it had even started. That hadn’t hindered Tony from having five margaritas and getting slightly sunburnt. It hadn’t been nearly as much fun as it had been supposed to be. Back at home Tony pondered calling Natasha to ask her a few questions, but he ultimately decided against it. That would just end up in her making completely unfounded assumptions and then Tony would have to put up with that. No, thank you very much.

Fortunately there was another person Tony could call who wasn’t as quick to suspect him of having an ulterior motive. Or at least not that kind of ulterior motive.

“Hi Steve-O, how are you doing? I am feeling totally neglected by you. Why don’t you call? Like ever?”

“Uhm… Hello Tony. I called you like three days ago and you had Jarvis hanging up on me.”

Oh right. That happened. Time play to sweet, clueless innocent. “Yeah, Jarvis is acting up lately. Talking of world domination and stuff. I should really do a couple of updates before he turns into Skynet. Sorry, I forgot who I am talking to. That means…”

Not even a minute in and Steve was already sighing in annoyance. New record. “I have watched the Terminator, Tony.”

“Seriously? That means I just ran out of half of my jokes. How can you do this to me?”

“Everybody went on about it being a classic and I had an afternoon to spend. So I watched it.”

“And? What did you think?”

“I didn’t like it.”

After 25 minutes arguing about the Terminator’s brilliance Tony decided to smoothly change the subject and get to the reason for this call. “So, do you know anything about what happened to Nash after the SHIELD went down?”

Why try being subtle when he could use a jackhammer? Tony wanted to bang his head against the top of his desk.

Clearly taken aback Steve needed a second to catch up. “Nash? I don’t… Yes, sure… Since he was a high ranking Hydra member he has a lot of information about their methods, tactics, infrastructure, locations and so on. He has become an informant and in return he was guaranteed impunity. You are supposed to know that Tony. Several of the Hydra bases we took out we only knew about because of him.”

“You know I don’t read my memos. I am a very busy man. Still working for the good guys, great.” Impatiently Tony drummed his fingers against his thigh. Better not give Steve the opportunity to ask why Tony wanted to know this. “I guess that means he made a full recovery from… you know…”

“Being shot and having his throat slit?”

Pressing his eyes shut Tony tried chase away the surging images. The blood. Or even worse, the sound of the death rattle. “Thanks, Steve. I know what happened. I was there.” Tony replied a little too sharply and took a breath. “But yeah.”

The gravity of the event they were talking about also had an effect on Steve. Discomfort was audible in his voice. “I am not sure. I heard that his voice got damaged. I think he is no longer able to talk. It’s pretty bad.”

“Shit. Is that permanent?”

“I think so. Look, I haven’t seen him since the Hydra takeover. Why are you asking? Something happened?”

Way too quickly Tony repeatedly muttered the words ‘No’ and ‘Not at all’. He kept the conversation going for another couple of minutes, feeling a little guilty for not actually listening to what Steve had to say. Instead Tony was thinking of the concept of a telephone conversation. Hearing another’s voice on the end of the other line. Nash was no longer able to do that. Something so simple. Nobody would ever hear his voice again on the phone or in general. Including Tony. It was a brutal shame, he had had a lovely voice. Or at least Tony thought so, he wasn’t sure if he remembered it correctly.

The thought caused sudden dread to overcome Tony. This was unacceptable. Everything about this entire situation. Tony was upset and that was awful since he had been feeling pretty good for the last couple of months. Good thing couldn’t last forever.

Damn Nash for ruining Tony’s perfectly fine mood. How could he even dare to suffer the consequences from almost dying? Yes, it was official, Tony Stark was an asshole. Time to call the newspapers and let them in on this revolutionary piece of information.

“Tony, you’re still there?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Look, Steve, there’s something I have to take care of. I’ll call you back.”

“Sure thing. Take care.”

After hanging up Tony didn’t really know what to do. There was still a lot of work he had to do on his new suit. It was the only thing he had spent his time on during the last couple of days. Which had been fun and now Tony could not be bothered to even make his way to the workshop. Leaning back in his chair Tony closed his eyes. “Jarvis, buddy?”

“Yes sir?”

“Give me everything you can find on damaged vocal chords and aphonia.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Oh and while you’re at it… pull me Nash’s file from the George Washington University Hospital.”

“That would be highly immoral and illegal, sir.”

“Which makes it indefinitely more fun.”

***

Nash was about to walk past the park bench when Tony got up and handed him a coffee before even saying hello. “Hi. I was in town and I thought I could spend time well by giving your bodyguards a walk around the park. I remember you drank coffee, so here you go.”

Despite being a certified genius Tony only realised now that one of Nash’s hands was occupied holding the coffee. “Uhm… can you text with one hand?”

To answer him Nash didn’t need words. His expression clearly said ‘Oh please’. Amused, Tony smirked at him. “Great. So what have you been up to today?”

After pulling his phone out Nash was quick to respond. _Thank you for the coffee. The usual, but I guess you already know that or how else would you have known that I was going to walk past here_

“Geez, not big on small talk, aren’t you? We haven’t seen each other in almost a year. I want to know how you are doing. After all you were the best boss I’ve ever had.”

Nash shook his head in amusement. _My job was to ultimately destroy the Avengers. Perhaps even to get you killed. Best boss? Really?_

Taking a sip from his own coffee Tony shrugged. “Still sounds better than Fury to me. Also, you did none of that.”

Surprised Tony saw the smile on Nash’s face fading away as he nodded. Who would have thought that things could get uncomfortable so quickly? With unease Tony thought back to the one visit he had paid Nash at the hospital. “You are not still wondering if you did the right thing? Because you totally did. It’s only because…”

Tony stopped when Nash held up his phone right into his face. _I would prefer not to go through another interrogation again._

Well shit.

“That wasn’t my intention. Sorry. I just… “ No, he couldn’t say that it was hard for him to find something to talk about. That would be stupid. All their interactions had revolved around SHIELD or that lunatic Loki. Apart from his Hydra past Tony did not know much about Nash. Sure, there were a few little things. Nash was smart, snarky, hard-working, didn’t succumb to pressure and despite a shitty upbringing he was a good guy. Oh and he liked to dye his hair. Tony wondered what his natural hair colour was. No, that would be stupid. Could somebody please find Tony’s mojo and send it back to him?

Since silence was one of the many things Tony couldn’t stand, he quickly asked the most mundane thing he could think of. “Except for the usual and hanging out with the feds, what do you do? Collecting stamps? Bungee jumping? Are you an avid gamer? Do you paint fancy surrealist paintings?”

Nash quirked one eyebrow, but he didn’t look annoyed. _My hobbies? Nothing as fascinating as collecting stamps. Lots of reading. Lots of movies. Martial arts training. I like cooking. I am pretty good at it._

“That’s great and it’s the perfect addition to my ability to burn water. Yes, I am that bad in the kitchen. In view of being a genius in every aspect of life, there has to be something that I am not great at. One should always take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself. How about you cook for me? I have this huge kitchen that has never been used.”

The words were out floating in the air and any attempt to grab them and stuff them back into his mouth would be fruitless. Just when exactly had he lost his mind? Tony definitely wasn’t the only one who asked himself that question if Nash’s expression was any indication. Things weren’t getting any better when Nash demonstrated something that Tony hadn’t forgotten – timidity wasn’t an inherent character trait of his.

_Is this your very peculiar way of asking me on a date or are you just having a really difficult time thinking of topics to talk with me about?_

How nice of him to offer Tony a way out. “You forgot to consider the most important and obvious option. I want the FBI to lose their minds.” Putting on obscenely wide grin Tony glanced over Nash’s shoulder and met eyes with the two ever present agents just a couple of dozen metres away. Waving at them Tony shouted across the whole park without an ounce of shame. “Hey there guys! Sorry for not getting you a coffee, but I have a set of rules. Coffee only for people who are fun to have a conversation with.” Focusing back on Nash Tony tried to go for his sweetest smile. “So what do you say? You are not going to let a poor billionaire starve?”

***

The entire experience was something Tony had not expected. In all honesty, it felt completely surreal. The pasta was extraordinarily good though. What’s more, it was vegetarian which made it even more astonishing that Tony wanted to dive into a whole pool of it.

“This is amazing.” Tony had been repeating that same sentence over and over again from the very moment he had tasted the dish. Graham (sometime during the last hour Tony had stopped referring to him as Nash) had enough decency to look rather amused than smug. Putting his fork down Graham signed, _Glad it’s up to your standards._

Sign language was a definite improvement on communications and all Tony had to do was wear his special glasses that allowed him to read what Graham was saying. So Jarvis was doing all the work as usual.

This was going okay so far. They had made easy conversation, Tony’s mouth hadn’t made him end up in trouble yet, Graham seemed relaxed and they had almost reached a point where they were just two men talking. Not Iron Man and the former head of SHIELD tied together through professional circumstances. By thinking about it Tony realised just how much he would enjoy that. Graham just being Graham and not the guy who had used to work for Hydra.

Tony was still inwardly swooning over the latest bite of pasta when Graham started signing again, doing his psychologist stick, asking a lot of questions. _So what exactly am I doing here? I assume you are trying to make friends and are not in cahoots with the FBI to extract some information that is hard to come by_

Why was there a need to spell everything out? Couldn’t Tony just invite somebody over who he hadn’t seen in months, have lunch with them without an ulterior motive? Such a despicable thing like trying to make friends? Nope, not Tony’s style. Making friends was not what this was. Better concentrate on the other piece of information, Tony was willingly going to bury his teeth in it. “You are an informant. Why would they need me to make you do your job?”

Leaning back in his chair Nash displayed the most unfazed expression. _That is merely a description of what I do. It does in no way imply how well or badly I am doing it_

Once again it was shocking how fast Tony could start to feel uneasy. Why did everything have to have about a thousand unpleasant implications? Sure, things could not be easy with an ex Hydra agent involved, but Tony just wanted… What did he want actually?

“Are you doing a bad job?” Tony eventually asked tentatively, almost sheepishly.

For a couple of seconds Graham didn’t react, his eyes weren’t on Tony but somewhere else. Then it hit Tony that this wasn’t hesitation, Graham was actually thinking it over. Which was sort of terrifying and had Tony wishing that he had avoided this topic.

Finally Graham met his gaze and made a single gesture that Jarvis translated with a single word. _Sometimes_

So, that was now officially a thing. A former high-ranking Hydra employee who had only avoided prison by becoming an informant for the FBI to help them purge the Earth of this sick cult had only now revealed to Tony that he was holding back information. Absolutely fantastic. Tony was definitely the wrong person to deal with that. This was too fucked up even for him to ignore. Unintentionally Tony’s eyes darted to the ever present scarf around Graham’s neck. Tony was well aware of what was hidden underneath it although he had never actually seen the scar.

“Okay… Why you wouldn’t immediately send somebody who tried to kill you to their doom is beyond me, but hey… What do I know? It’s not like I was there. Oh, wait. I was!”

Completely unmoved Graham signed ‘ _The attempt on my life happened after I turned against them and helped to kill several Hydra agents. You would have done the same if it had been the other way around.’_

Mere minutes ago this had been a delightful get-together now Tony was up in arms. “Let’s get one thing perfectly clear. I would have never put a knife to your throat!”

Still Graham remained unimpressed. _Perhaps not you personally. Loads of others agents would have. Including a few Avengers._

“Whatever!” Tony shook his head. “We’re talking about Hydra here. Those sleazy dirtbags that cooperated with the Nazis. Who are still gathering biological weapons and have access to Chitauri weaponry that they stole from SHIELD. You are the person who has all the information on them and now you’re suddenly uncomfortable with giving it to the good guys? What the hell!”

At least now Tony was getting a reaction Graham released a short breath and met his eyes. They were stern, unreadable. _I am surprised that you are taken aback. I’ve told you at the hospital that I wasn’t sure about what I had done. It wasn’t my choice. Rayne forced it on me._

This again? One year ago he had assumed that he had mostly heard the shock talking. That Graham would come around and realise that he was better off not being part of a secret evil organisation that was trying to gain world domination. Here they were, months later, and Graham was still at the exact same point which was equally terrifying and sad.

“I am having a bit of a problem with having to be the one who points out to you what happened. What you did. You were prepared for fucking Hydra over. You had sent people home of whom you knew they would be a problem. You had surrounded yourself with people that definitely weren’t Hydra and you got a shitload of important data out of there. Also, you tried to let me in on it, but I was too stupid to get it. You were perfectly ready to go against Hydra.”

Grey eyes once more left Tony’s which evoked a rather unpleasant feeling that spread from Tony’s chest across his whole body. He wasn’t getting through to him.

_I guess_

Although there was of course no intonation in that gesture Tony could see the dejection within it.

_I should leave_

Graham was already up on his feet when Tony realised what was happening. He didn’t have enough time to figure out why he didn’t want the other one to leave, but at least Tony was perfectly sure that he wanted Graham to stay. There was also the urge to get this right or Graham would never come back.

Yeah, maybe Tony had an idea after all why he didn’t want him to go. He would have to figure out his emotional turmoil later on. “Wait a second! You are a psychologist! You should know better than everybody that talking about important stuff is… important! So talk to me!”

Graham merely stopped to sigh again. _I cannot talk_

With that statement he left Tony standing there, feeling beaten and useless.

***

Among Tony’s best qualities was persistence. No sooner had Graham walked out on him than Tony decided definitely not to accept that. Luckily he now could dedicate all his energy to coming up with a scheme to get in touch again, rather than think about why he even had this fierce desire to do just that.

In all honesty, Tony wasn’t a complete idiot. In the back of his mind a very clear idea had already formed but the moment hadn’t come yet to face up to it.

Shortly Tony considered talking to Natasha about how to get into the head of a former undercover agent but he remembered Graham’s utter disdain for Natasha’s dabbling in psychology. No to that. Instead Tony came up with another idea. Graham had wanted to talk to him, what he hadn’t approved of was Tony’s reaction. Time for a different approach. Therefore Tony ended up in his comfiest chair and typed away on his phone.

**Okay, let’s start over. You were trying to tell me something and all I did was say no. How about you tell me about your life before SHIELD went to shit? Then maybe I will be able to better understand you**

It took hours for Graham to respond and Tony wanted to slam his head against the next wall available for almost stumbling over his feet when he instantly rushed over to get his phone as soon as he heard the beep.

_And why would you want that?_

Grinding his teeth in frustration Tony cursed the other one for daring to make him think about that again. Well, Tony could throw it right back into his face.

**You are the psychologist. You tell me**

This time Graham was a lot quicker.

_Two possibilities. 1: You feel guilty about what happened to me because you arrived two seconds after Rumlow slit my throat and think you have to fix me. 2: You desperately want to sleep with me._

Tony almost dropped his phone. Right. What had he expected? Graham wore his heart on his sleeve and Tony was definitely showing a lot of eagerness to be around him.

**Can’t it be a little bit of both? Just talk to me. What did you do before we even met?**

Time passed again and Tony started gnawing on his lower lip. Eventually Graham wrote back and his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

_I still owe you a cup of coffee_

Yes! Could a person highfive themselves? No, that would just result in clapping. Tony settled for a pat on his own shoulder.


	2. Speechless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, 
> 
> I'm going to do what I do best. Be nice to Tony until I make him utterly miserable ;)
> 
> Have fun

They met up again at Tony’s place for practical reasons. It was just the easiest way to communicate. A walk in the park would have been nice, but Graham needed his hands to talk and that was hard to do while holding his coffee.

Right now the cups were on the table Tony was sitting next to Graham, watching him and Graham himself was talking. Answering a rather simple question. What had been his job? Actual job, the one he had been doing for Hydra.

_I trained other agents. That was my main task. Teaching them how to act during interrogations, how to gain information from actual SHIELD agents, made sure they knew how to blend in. I also profiled SHIELD agents, trying to find the ones that could be susceptible for Hydra’s ideology. Agents that could be turned._

Tony knew that he was going to feel uneasy during this entire conversation. They had barely started and he was already trying to not think about any of the implications. Had any of those turned agents been present during the fall of SHIELD? Had any of them shot at Tony? Had Rayne killed any of them? Clearing his throat Tony said the first thing that came to his mind. “I assume you were good at it?”

 _I was excellent. I’ve never handed in a lacking profile. I was never wrong. I never had to work my way up the ranks like other agents because I was the godson of the boss, but my work was always impeccable. I was raised by Hydra agents, surrounded by them until I got to work with actual SHIELD members. I was in my mid-twenties by then. Hydra was all I knew. It was normal. Comfortable. This…_ Graham gestured around. _… this does not feel normal. Every day I wake up and think to myself that things aren’t supposed to be that way._

Over and over again Tony told himself that he was not allowed to freak out. What had he expected that a life within Hydra wouldn’t leave any traces? That Graham could just shrug it off because that would be more comfortable for Tony? It wasn’t as dire as it seemed though for a very simple fact. “You did realise though that Hydra was not normal.” Tony reminded him gently. “You did start working on getting out of there. How did that happen?”

Shifting around Graham grabbed his cup of coffee, wrapping his hands around it without taking a sip. Seeing him nervous and unsure was terribly odd. Even when Rayne had pushed SHIELD right into chaos Graham had seemed self-assured and unafraid. This was something entirely different. Eventually Graham put the cup back down.

_There was a SHIELD agent that I befriended. For no particular reason. Terribly idealistic. Not even the best agent. Pretty much everything a proper member of Hydra was supposed to despise. He wasn’t of much interest to me, a waste of time to spend time with. I found him endearing though when people like him were the reason that Hydra was supposed to be superior to SHIELD. I kept thinking about that. Then there were other people. People I liked. I wondered how other Hydra agents did it. Working with SHIELD staff every single day and still… be ready to turn around and stab them in the back at any given time. I figured that it should be easier for me than for most of the others, but it wasn’t. In my psychological evaluations I was supposed to slowly find out their weaknesses and turn them against SHIELD which I did. For years. It was my job, that’s what I was there for. Sometimes though, after years, I found myself being envious of some of the younger agents that I talked to. Of their passion, their sense of purpose and enthusiasm. I had none of that. I found it harder to imagine what would ultimately happen to them during a takeover. It’s a rather simple phenomenon. I got corrupted, compromised. When a good guy spends too much time pretending to be a bad guy, he eventually becomes one. I feel like that’s what happened to me._

Tony’s had was swimming with the onslaught of information. A few things started to make more sense now, but the last couple of words really got under his skin. “It’s the other way round. That’s what you mean. Becoming the good guy.”

Nodding softly Graham signed and Tony imagined him to mutter these words. _Right. It doesn’t always feel that way though._

Perhaps Tony was becoming desperate in trying to find a way to save Graham’s soul or he was finally starting to see things a little bit clearer. “Do you feel like you betrayed your family?”

_That’s what happened._

“Alright, you can see it like that… if you want to torture yourself. Or you could focus on all the people you helped to save and the ones you will save when you’re doing a good job again as an informer. You did something good and who the hell cares if you had done it or not if Rayne hadn’t forced your hand. You did and didn’t have to. You made a choice. That’s what important. “ Tony hinted at a smile, wishing that the other one would smile back at him and they would be done with it.

Of course that didn’t happen.

_Does that matter when I don’t know anymore if that decision was right?_

Okay, time to really bring it. Tony already knew that he was inept, but he would try. Anything that he possibly could do. Scooting closer Tony gently nudged Graham’s arm. “Do you remember where you were when Rayne dropped that truth bomb over the coms? Right in front of Loki’s cell. With me. You kept telling me that there was no time, that I should listen to you and when those Hydra assholes walked around the corner you didn’t hesitate to shoot them instead of me. When you could have. So it does matter to me that you’ve made that decision. There’s a chance I wouldn’t have walked out of that building otherwise. I guess you have to make another decision. If it was right to save me. The answer should be obvious, by the way.”

It was ridiculous how Tony felt like he could see the sunrise when Graham indeed smiled weakly, somehow despite himself. _I did nothing to save you. You saved my life_

“Yeah because I’ve always been a great guy. A great guy that you didn’t shoot at. You don’t regret that, do you?” That question would settle it. At least for Tony. That’s what he told himself.

Graham’s lips were parted, his features softened in a way that made Tony think that he would have laughed if had been able to. _No. I am glad you are still here. I am glad that we ran into each other at the Feds._

Yeah, that was it for Tony. Mind made up. Tony had never been a fan of easy, it was boring. Also the way his heart was beating told him that the choice had been made some time ago. “Good. Me too.” Tony muttered under his breath and again scooted over to close the distance between them. It was only the hint of a kiss because Graham almost immediately pulled back. Not far though. His eyes were wide and full of disbelief. Tony simply knew that if the other could talk the words would already be flowing from his mouth.

“Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking. Why would I kiss you after everything you’ve just revealed? Am I insane? Attracted to people who probably mean trouble? A little bit. Mostly. Moreover I think that the wanting to kiss you part started before Hydra was even a thing. Oh, and I believe you are going to be okay. You’re still trying to get used to a new life. Perhaps I can even help you with that. If you let me. You know, like telling you that you are not a bad guy when in doubt.”

Graham only let him suffer for a few seconds. The disbelief in his eyes made way to something tender. Tony barely had the time to lament the fact that Graham couldn’t talk, he would have loved to hear whatever he had to say. Instead of using words, gestures or a pencil to answer Graham kissed him. Which was better.

Immense relief and excitement were flooding Tony’s body as he put his arms around Graham. Part of him wondered how far the other one would let him go, but then Graham’s nimble fingers were already working open the buttons of his shirt. This was really happening. They kept kissing while slowly discarding each other of their clothes. Initial bustling made way for more unhurried gestures and Tony was partly overwhelmed by the intense shiver that went through his own body at the first time that he got to touch Graham’s naked skin. Much as he hadn’t consciously been aware of it, his body gave a clear account on how much he had been craving for this. Fortunately it became increasingly hard to think, otherwise Tony would immediately have tortured himself with the painful question whether Graham was going through something familiar or not.

His kisses were self-assured, tasted sweet and were successfully making Tony’s head spin. The small but ever-present worry that Graham would eventually pull away and sink deeper into this black hole of self-loathing and doubt was completely pushed into the backseat.

Just when Tony head reached the point where he could unconditionally lose himself in the onslaught of the most intense sensations, a harsh piece of reality announced his presence and had a sobering effect on him. The fabric of the scarf underneath his fingers was soft, clearly expensive, Tony was an expert at instantly spotting these kinds of details. It was a different scarf each time they met. Such a lingering, unremitting presence that it had merged with Graham. It became an actual part of him, like the arc-reactor had become a part of Tony. As a result Tony didn’t have a clue if he was allowed to take it off regardless of the fact that they both knew what Graham was hiding underneath it.

Noticing his hesitation Graham took charge and ended the kiss that they were engaged in just long enough to quickly take the scarf off on his own. Tony didn’t get the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the physical reminder of what Hydra had done to him.

With the last piece of garment gone there was nothing left to make Tony’s mind wander, he was perfectly willing to immerse himself in the sensations that arose in their bodies entwining. They left the couch and headed to Tony’s bedroom for mere practical reason. All the necessary supplies were there and seeing as the urgency of their kisses and touches became more acute they would be in need of them. Their hands alone wouldn’t do it.

Despite being the very last person on earth who would be able to claim to suffer from a lacklustre lovelife Tony felt like it had been ages that he had been physically intimate with another person. The obvious implication was that he did give a shit about Graham whereas the other people who had come before him were just fuzzy faces that Tony’s mind had already discarded of. So many little details to completely indulge in. Not least the sounds that Graham made. To actually hear him, to have a vocal reaction to what he was doing to him made the hair on Tony’s arms stand up. Regardless of them being mostly hoarse sighs Tony wanted to soak them up, hear more of them. It was fantastic. Almost surprisingly so. Dangerously so. As a person who knew good sex Tony could differentiate between being with a skilled person and being with a skilled person that could make him tremble by trailing their fingers down his arm. When they were lying there next to each other, cooling down from a wonderful high, Tony thought that Graham wasn’t the only one here who was compromised.

Settling in between the soft blanket and cushions Tony turned onto his side to savour the moment and to drink in the sight of Graham. Only illuminated by the faint light of the arc reactor Graham’s hair appeared to be white against the dark grey sheets. With his head resting in the crook of his elbow Graham looked up at Tony with half-closed eyes. All but two thoughts had been banished from Tony’s mind and they were indeed rather simplistic. One part of him wondered when had been the last time he had felt so perfectly at ease. The other one was overwhelmed by how gorgeous Graham was right now. In Tony’s book things could not get any better.

Shifting ever so slightly Graham made a lazy gesture with his hand which was probably supposed to tell Tony something.

“Sorry, I think my glasses got lost somewhere on the way. But I’ve got…” Tony grabbed his tablet from the nightstand and handed it to Graham. Now there was a new source of dim light as Graham leisurely typed a few words. _So for how long has this been going on?_

Was this was pillow talk with psychologists was like? Well, Tony had had way worse. Also, in this setting with Tony’s skin still tingling from the other’s touch, Graham could pretty much ask him anything. “This?” Tony gestured between the two of them, then smiled and shrugged. “Can’t say for sure. I have eyes, so I’ve always known that you’re attractive. When I saw you again at the FBI headquarters… I don’t know. I didn’t want to lose sight of you again. Without SHIELD or Loki in the picture it’s way easier to concentrate on the important things. Like you being gorgeous.”

Graham presented a smile that said ‘ _Yeah. Sure. Keep trying to sweet-talk me._ ’

“What?” Tony gasped in mock offence. “I am serious! Oh, and I’ve always liked how you walk into a room, tell everybody what do and then leave again like a total boss. I normally hate it when people do that, but you had style…”

As Tony scooted closer Graham slightly quirked an eyebrow which Tony interpreted as ‘ _Seriously_?’

Taking the tablet away from Graham and putting it aside Tony muttered softly, “Seriously” before leaning over the other one and brushing his lips over Graham’s. A warm and fuzzy sensation was spreading inside of Tony’s chest when Graham leaned up into the kiss, his hands settling on Tony’s waist. They kept the kiss slow and yet it was of an intensity that made Tony feel it in his bones. A mix of anticipation and need that was so fierce as if this was the first time that Tony got to touch him. As if they hadn’t had sex mere minutes ago. The way Graham’s fingertips ghosted over his spine told Tony that he wasn’t the only one who was experiencing this. Shifting closer Tony covered Graham’s body with his own. With his left hand he gently pushed Graham’s thigh towards his chest, sliding between his legs. Not missing a beat Graham ran his hands down Tony’s sides to let them rest on his lower back and pull him closer, to close every remaining gap between their bodies. Still kissing him Tony buried his fingers for a moment in the bleach blond hair before trailing them down Graham’s cheek. The very second Tony’s hand came to rest on the side of Graham’s neck the other man winced as if Tony had done something very different than trying to make him feel good.

“Shit…” Taking his hand away as quickly as he could Tony started babbling an apology. How could he be so stupid? “I am sorry. Sorry. I didn’t think. Of course I didn’t think… I am sorry.”

Graham’s lips were parted, he was staring at Tony with wide eyes and there was still that soft flush on his cheeks. The terrible thing was that Graham couldn’t even yell at him for being such a tool. Tony expected to be pushed off him or to be punched. What he didn’t expect was Graham’s hand gently covering his mouth to stop his babbling of apologies. The expression in his eyes changed, softened and felt like an actual hand was wrapping itself around his heart, squeezing it. He could tell what Graham was telling him just by looking at him. At least in this moment he was perfectly sure.

Tony was not allowed to freak out or Graham was going to do the same. He had scared him, had done something that he hadn’t been expecting. It was okay though. Graham knew that Tony was not going to hurt him. Also, Graham had no intention of stopping. Right now he wanted to be with Tony.

After swallowing the lump in his throat Tony lowered his hand again and carefully ran his thumb over the line where Graham’s neck and jaw met. A few ridiculous centimetres above his scar.

Graham curled his own fingers around Tony’s wrist, not pulling it away but stroking his thumb over it. Telling him once more that it was okay. He had got scared for a second, now he was okay. Tony wanted to freeze this exact moment. Damn, he got it bad.

***

“Sir, may I suggest that three cups of coffee are enough to get you ready to start the day?”

Tony almost dropped the entire pot in reaction to Jarvis’ soft attempt to stop him from poisoning himself with too much caffeine. “Thanks for the suggestion, J, but in case you haven’t noticed. I’m kind of freaking out right now, so don’t count on me being reasonable.”

“Do you wish to tell me why you are why you are in distress?”

Great, now his AI was screwing with him. “Again, in case you haven’t noticed, there is a naked man lying in my bed.”

“Not exactly an unprecedented event, sir.”

“Screw you, Jarvis, I’m perfectly sure I didn’t program you to make fun out my emotional turmoil.” Tony moaned, burying his face in his hands. 

“I fear you have to be more precise about the nature of the problem, sir. I didn’t get the impression that Mr. Nash’s presence was unwelcome.”

That was a nice way of putting it. Now the day had come that Tony was better at explaining human behaviour than Jarvis. “I am not freaking out because he is there or how he got there. I was the driving force behind that. I am freaking out because I don’t want him to leave. Don’t say that that’s indeed an unprecedented event. I know that myself!”

“I wasn’t going to point out the obvious, sir. I’d rather let you know that I am inclined to believe that Mr. Nash is not eager to leave. If it’s that what you are worried about.”

Unfortunately Tony had no idea what he was worried about. Everything probably. The fact that the thought of Graham caused a rush of heat going through him and at the same time made him feel completely wholesome. The fact that Graham had trouble letting go of his Hydra past and considered himself still part of it. The fact that Tony had no clue how Graham felt about last night. The fact that Tony had the unrivalled gift for fucking up every relationship that he had ever been in. The fact that Graham couldn’t talk and that would eventually lead to Tony talking over him and fucking things up. And of course the fact that Tony wanted to slip back into bed and slip an arm around him.

“Is he still asleep?”

“Not for much longer, sir.”

Alright, it was about time that Tony figured out what to do. Geez, he had thought the hard thing to do would be plucking up the courage to make a move. Now that was old news and Tony was facing another challenge. Stopping the person he had made the move on from running away. Right, so what he was he going to do? His first instinct was to walk back into the backroom and distract Graham with more sex. Unfortunately that wasn’t an infinite solution.

“How about bringing him coffee, sir? Then you wouldn’t have to drink all of it yourself?” Jarvis offered helpfully and to Tony’s mind he sounded like he was feeling pity for him. Fantastic, now the AI had also started thinking that he was pathetic. Then again, it was a good suggestion. “Thanks, J…”

Only when he was already on his way to the bed room with a new mug in his hand Tony realised that he had automatically added milk and sugar. Why? Because that was how Graham drank his coffee. Tony remembered that. Graham had never told him, Tony had noticed it. Yeah, definitely screwed.

His heart was in agreement, beating in an uneven and accelerated rhythm as he approached his own bedroom door.

Graham hadn’t moved since Tony had left him. Still lying on his side, face partly hidden by the cushion, his bleach blonde hair a mess. Like this, still asleep, he looked like there couldn’t be anything weighing on his mind, nothing in his life to stop him from being serene. Evidently it was an illusion, but Tony couldn’t be bothered. Tony wanted to keep him.

Tony’s heart, still beating irregularly, jumped almost out of his chest when Graham began to stir. As Tony watched closely Graham slowly opened his eyes and blinked the remains of sleep away. It was easy to spot his initial confusion, he had woken up in unfamiliar surroundings. Quick, Tony had to say something before Graham realised what situation he was in and fled as fast as he possibly could. Which would be the most natural reaction.

“Good morning, Dancing with myself.” Tony blurted out and one second later cursed himself for making it sound so heavy-handing. Graham’s eyes darted to him and Tony was standing there in the doorframe, mug in hand, deer in the headlights, a bumbling fool. No sooner had the hint of a smile appeared on Graham’s lips than Tony stopped mentally torturing himself.

Propping himself up on his elbows Graham kept looking at him, incapable of saying anything. The fact of the matter was that there was no need to say anything. In comparison to yesterday Graham looked so different, like somebody ready to tackle any challenge that life could possibly throw at him, without the weight of the on his shoulders. The warm expression on his face served as a means of telling Tony everything that he needed to know.

With lithe steps Tony made his way over to the bed, sat down on the edge and handed Graham the mug. As soon as he took it Tony brushed his fingers over Graham’s wrist. There was still no need to say anything

***

“Sir, the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation is calling. Again.” There was more than a mere hint of urgency in Jarvis’ voice, but Tony couldn’t be bothered to even look up from the new armour that he was working on. “Let him go straight to voicemail. I am terribly busy. Preoccupied. Out of reach. Uninterested. Thanks, J.”

Despite Tony’s obvious lack of concern Jarvis kept insisting, probably with his well-being in mind. “Sir, may I suggest you take this call anyway. I might not be wise to ignore indefinitely.”

It was Jarvis’ unyielding determination to keep Tony out of trouble that was the part that Tony liked about him the least. Not that any of this was Jarvis’ fault, after all it was Tony had written his protocol. He didn’t have it in him to entirely trespass upon Jarvis’ affection for him. “Who said anything about ‘indefinitely’? Eventually I will find the time to talk to him. Seeing as I already know what he is going to ask and he already knows the answer to the question that he is going to ask me, I don’t not see the point in rushing things. The outcome will not be affected. Bad Tony for sleeping with the informant.”

Truth to be told, there was a very small, almost negligible, degree of uncertainty in Tony’s mind about what the direction wanted to talk to him. Taking into account the latest developments in Tony’s personal life and the fact that two FBI agents were observing every step that Graham took, there was little prospect that any conversation with the director wasn’t going to involve the words ‘inappropriate’ or ‘conflict of interest’ or ‘keep your sleazy hands of my informant’. Tony’s eagerness to go through that was below zero, especially since all of his mental capabilities were needed elsewhere. No sooner than Graham had left his apartment than Tony started worrying about one million things simultaneously. That itself wasn’t completely out the ordinary. Except that Tony normally mulled over different ways how to approve his tech or new concept on how to revolutionise everyday technology. For two days now the only thing on Tony’s mind had been Graham.

Not in the way a teenage girl would think about her latest heartthrob, fortunately. Unfortunately? Inside Tony’s mind there was chaos. One second he thought about how obvious it was that Graham had merely sought for distraction from his own dilemma. Then all he could think about was that his Hydra roots were still so very present within Graham, tying him down. As much as Tony would like to gloss over all that, it was hard to deny the horrific implications and danger that came from it. Shouldn’t there have been some deprogramming? Some psychological support, somebody to talk to who could help Graham to shed his old mind set and get over his unsubstantiated feelings of guilt. Graham was a psychologist himself, so it was rather unlikely that he would let another professional tap into his brain. Tony doubted it.

Tony also doubted if Graham was going to come back and that made him feel self-conscious and inept. Perhaps he was a teenage girl after all. Being smitten with a person who felt utterly lost was nerve-racking. It sounded terrible to his own ears, but Tony was used to quickly becoming the predominant thing in the person’s life that he was interested in.

Those had been the good old days filled with booze and people chasing after Tony and not the other way round.

“Sir, Doctor Nash has just entered the elevator and is asking for permission to come up to the penthouse.”

Tony almost dropped the tools he was holding in his hands. “Yes! Yes, permission granted. Shit, why can’t he call first?”

No time to take a shower or to even put on an act as if he wasn’t totally overexcited. Tony rushed to change into a new shirt, washed his hands and then stood awkwardly in front of the elevator, waiting for Graham to arrive. Damn, Tony used to be suave and charming and that wasn’t so long ago. At the very moment though, he was too agitated to care. After what felt like an eternity there was that sound which announced that the elevator had reached the penthouse. The doors opened and Graham looked up from his phone.

Tony feasted his eyes on how casually he was dressed. Washed-out jeans, a green jacket and a black scarf. He looked nice which was the way he always looked. Then his eyes met Tony’s and a genuine smile lit up his face. By raising on of his hands Graham hinted at a wave for a greeting and Tony’s reservations went up in smoke.

“Hey there, Rebel Yell.” Tony smiled back at him, somewhat taken aback by how much affection was audible in his voice. What a wonderfully guaranteed method to scare off the object of said affections. Evidently Tony was in luck though in that the blatant confusion on Graham’s face had been brought on by the greeting itself rather than by its intonation.

Sweet Lord, somebody walking around with that hair colour had to know the entire Billy Idol catalogue by heart. If not, Tony would make it his new mission in life to introduce him to it. Later. Right now he was too busy with trying to come with something else to say. Unfortunately his mind was completely blank. Alright, so Tony was going to do what he really longed to do anyway.

Graham inhaled sharply, utterly taken aback by Tony pouncing on him as soon as he had stepped out of the elevator. It wasn’t a fierce kiss but Tony was definitely letting him feel that he had missed him. Kissing him made Tony experience a sense of relief, despite of knowing that only a conversation could permanently ease his mind. When Tony pulled slightly back he had Graham staring at him with wide eyes. Within seconds though his expression changed again and his lips formed a smirk. Alright, that was new. Or not completely new, it reminded Tony of how smooth and bold Graham had been when SHIELD had still been in place.

The dynamic changed when Graham put his hands against Tony’s chest and pushed him backwards. Tony willingly let himself be manoeuvred to the couch. Graham gave him a little shove, Tony landed on his back and Graham instantly crawled on top of him. Yeah, who needed to talk anyway? Graham, with a strand of his bleach blonde hair falling into his forehead, a wicked glint in his eyes, was a sight to behold. Warmth and excitement were spreading beneath Tony’s ribs. After placing his hands on Graham’s thighs Tony let them run upwards and ultimately fisted them in the fabric of his jacket to pull him down into a new kiss.

In addition to resisting fairly easily Graham put his hand back on Tony’s chest, keeping him where he was. With a strength that Tony hadn’t known he possessed. The grin on his lips became bigger, almost to a grotesque degree and it wasn’t teasing. Something was not quite right about this. Graham slightly shook his head to emphasize that he didn’t want that kiss. “That is not going to happen again.” He said, still grinning.

Tony’s insides turned to ice and his grip on Graham’s jacked loosened. Graham had talked, Tony had heard his voice. Still as bright and smooth as it had always been, but that voice was gone. Rumlow had literally cut it out of Graham’s body. And yet Tony had heard it. Within seconds the implications of Graham being able to speak became clear to Tony and rush of panic went through his body. Tony bolted, tried to get up and push the other one off him. His attempt was futile, ‘Graham’ didn’t even flinch. By merely applying a little bit more pressure on Tony’s chest he kept him where he was. “Is there something wrong, Stark? Did I upset you?”

With his heart hammering in his chest and sweat starting to form on his forehead Tony tried not to succumb to panic despite the seriousness and imminent danger of the situation. The other one was on top of him with his sheer limitless power, definitely enough of it to crush him. This was the time to act smartly if he didn’t want to end up as cold, dead body. His mouth and his fury could get in the way though. “Get off me, you damned son of a bitch! I was hoping to never see you again!”

“Well, that is surprising to hear and not very believable regarding the way you greeted me when I walked in.”

Tony was going to be sick. “Get off me.” He repeated with gritted teeth. “What do you want?”

Loki, still wearing Graham’s face, continued to grin in a way that Graham probably wasn’t even capable of. “I wanted to see what is going on between you and the turncoat. That question has been answered and new issues have arisen. We will need to have a chat about this.”

Perfect, now Tony was going to lose his composure, he wanted to smash the other’s head in. Horrible idea, without his suit and no way of calling it. Jarvis was definitely already working on getting one ready, but the energies levels were low and it took take a moment. Also, Loki would be prepared. “Have you become so bored with your nutcase of boyfriend already that you have to snoop around in other people’s private lives for entertainment?”

Against his expectations Loki didn’t seem the slightest bit upset by the dig at Rayne. “I am a lot of things, Stark, Bored is not one of them. Actually, I do think that everything is going to become a lot more exciting very soon.”

What the hell was going on in this deranged mind? Tony was scared to find out. Taking a breath he tried to force himself to relax and looked up at the other one. “I would really like to get rid of you again, so say your piece and then fuck off.”

Looming over him like the threat that he was Loki clicked his tongue and Tony wished that he would take off Graham’s face. “You see, Stark, despite my best efforts, I find myself in a rather delicate situation. I am not a man of many principles since they only serve to tie a man down. I have a soft spot for rules, but merely because there is a need for rules in order to break them. However, I do have indeed two rules that I will stick to no matter what. If there is something I can do to put a smile on Christian’s face, I will do it. Also, I will not lie to him.”

“Yeah, you are a fucking romantic. Good for you.”

Why was he here? There hadn’t been a sighting of him or Rayne in over half a year.

Ignoring him Loki continued. “This is where my predicament starts. You and Christian differ greatly in regards to your feelings about Nash.”

“I fucking hope so!”

“Christian would really like it if he died. It does happen rarely, but in this case Christian and I also do not see eye to eye. I would not mind Nash staying alive.”

Tony felt his throat constricting before a surge of white anger overcoming him. His fingers twitched with the need to grab Loki, to hurt him, to somehow make sure that he would stay away from Graham. “I swear if you lay a finger on him, I will-“

“Oh, will you listen to me? I just told you that I harbour no grudge. Not against him anyway. Christian does though. He loathes him. He was rather upset when he found out that Nash had survived his injuries. Christian would have finished the job himself if Nash hadn’t been so miserable. That felt like a fair trade. He got to live and be miserable, tormented by doubt and regret. Everybody got to be happy. Except for Nash, but that was the point.”

Pieces of shit, both of them. “What is your asshole boyfriend so petty about? That psychopath shot him after burning dozens of people alive!”

The grin faded and Loki narrowed Graham’s grey eyes. Suddenly the pressure on Tony’s chest increased and he gasped for air. Just before he thought that his ribs would crack the pressure eased up again. “Careful what you say, Stark.”

“Fuck you, Reindeer Games. You talk about killing my boyfriend but I cannot insult yours?” Tony was tempted to go for it and take a swing at Loki’s chin. To hell with this asshole.

“Oh, so he is your paramour.” Loki almost purred and tilted his head. “What a lovely predicament. You want him to stay alive, don’t you? Then take a piece of advice refrain from trying to make him happy. It would deeply upset Christian to know that his life isn’t a complete hell. Then there would be no reason not to kill him.”

Something was stirring inside of Tony’s chest. By now his hatred for Loki and Rayne had been present since time immemorial. However, now there was something new being added to it. Something more personal. The vivid memory of blood surging from the gashing wound on Graham’s neck. Tony had put his hands on it, desperately trying to stop him from bleeding out, almost completely unaware to the gunshot wound. Nothing like that was ever going to happen again. Tony wouldn’t allow it. Rayne might be an enhanced psychotic human piece of shit, but Tony would personally rip him apart if he should dare to approach Graham again.

“And why are you telling me this? Isn’t Rayne going to be pissed if you’re messing with this? Are you already at the point where you are lying to each other?”

“Don’t overestimate the importance of my little visit, Stark. It’s just a personally preference. I would like to see how things will turn out. So many possibilities. Will the lost soul return to Hydra? Will they receive him with open arms or kill him? Is he going to break your heart? Or lose his mind which he is already so close to. It would be incredibly entertaining to watch. Christian doesn’t think so. He’ll just want him dead when he learns about this. I am not going to lie to him. So it would be in your interest to make sure that there is nothing to learn about. To be honest though, it might not even matter. If Christian wakes up tomorrow and feels like going back to Earth and killing every single one of you, it will be my utmost pleasure to help him.”

“Am I supposed to be thankful now?” Tony spat. “That you would rather see us unhappy than dead?”

Loki shrugged. “I’ll gladly gut you at any time but I am interested in what he is going to do. Perhaps if he’ll turn his back on this boring, up-tight, 9 to 5 life he will even be the one to kill you. He needs to stay alive for that though. I guess it’s your choice, Stark. It depends on you what I’m going to be able to tell Christian. I can tell him how your eyes lit up like stars when you thought you saw Nash in the elevator. Or I could tell him that this was a fling that quickly fizzled out to everybody’s great disappointment. Whatever I tell him has to be the truth though.”

Coming up with an answer to this was one of the easiest things Tony had ever done. “I’ve said it before and I will gladly say it again. Fuck you.”

Seemingly unbothered by the insult Loki straightened up. His movements, vastly different from Graham’s, were those of a man who was at complete ease and utterly content with himself. That self-importance and satisfaction in messing with somebody else’s life had Tony’s fingers twitch with the almost overwhelming urge to hit him. To do more than that, to rip his chest open and to dig inside in the hopes that Loki would experience at least a fragment of the pain that he was persistently causing others.

“I did not expect you to immediately make up your mind. A mere mortal needs to be granted some time for such an elaborate though process. Don’t take too long though. I will keep an eye on you.” Loki had the audacity to wink at him before vanishing and Tony gasped for air, now indeed overwhelmed by the tension that was finally leaving his body.

“Sir, the Avengers are 30 seconds away.”

Only when Thor was already crashing through one of the windows had Tony caught his breath. He felt sick to his very core.


	3. Hushed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, 
> 
> Here, the last chapter and finally a glimpse at our two favourite psychopaths together :)

86 agonizing minutes later Tony had finally succeeded in getting his friends out of his penthouse. Tony was certain, much to his dismay, that his power of persuasion had not been sufficient to convince even a single one of them that Loki had shown up without a reason. Almost a year without an apparition and then he just pops into Tony’s place, threatens him and leaves again? Admittedly, not the most credible story.

However, Tony learned from their brief meeting that the FBI hadn’t yet made it semi-public knowledge that Tony was seeing Graham. One strong indication for that was Natasha’s lack of violence against Tony. When silence had settled back into the penthouse Tony was sitting on a chair, staring into pace and trying to make sense out of what had happened. Since Loki was involved it was impossible to simply take things at face value. Perhaps Tony was merely unwilling to consider the implications of what Loki demanded of him. After all Loki had been pretty clear in his description of what he wanted. Keeping his piece of shit lover happy by making sure that Graham didn’t experience any more joy in his life?

What had Loki been doing during these last months? Lingering around in the background, watching Graham to be certain that he was still suffering under the weight of his decision? A decision that he still was still calling into question. Loki was aware of that. He had mentioned the possibility of Graham even going back to Hydra. The thought of it spiked more fear in Tony’s heart than being unarmed in a room with Loki.

The unexpected ringing of his phone had Tony jumping out of his skin. A look at his phone revealed Graham’s name. Not really though, Tony had added him to his contacts as ‘Billy Idol’. The text message was short and simple.

_What happened? Are you alright?_

Perfect, that meant the Avengers had already spread the message and by now the entire FBI had to be aware of it. Tony was putting his money on Clint.

Much as Tony enjoyed it to see that Graham was obviously worrying about him, he didn’t want to deal with him now. Tony couldn’t make up with a story for him. Luckily Graham wasn’t able to talk or Tony would be forced to have a phone conversation with him. What a horrible thing to even think about.

_I am ok. Loki just wanted to be a dick. No worries._

That should do it.

Of course it didn’t.

_What? A little more detail please!_

Squeezing his eyes shut Tony refused to rather think about this.

_It’s fine. He didn’t attack, he just wanted to strew my penthouse with his bullshit_

Graham needed to leave it alone, give Tony time to think.

_I’m coming over_

Tony grunted in anger, but saw himself unable to deny Graham his wish although he had no idea what he was going to say to him.

It took less than 20 minutes until Graham was again in his apartment. The real one this time. It was Tony’s intention to play it cool, as if it had just been another run-in with the villain of the week. One look at Graham’s face made it perfectly clear that this strategy wasn’t going to work out. Graham was signing too fast, his gestures were so messy that Tony’s glasses weren’t capable of picking up everything that he was saying.

_What happened? What was he doing here? Are you hurt? What did he want? Why didn’t you call me?_

“Slow down, will you? Nothing happened. He felt like he hadn’t been a pain in my ass for a too long period of time. Everything’s fine.”

Graham frowned and Tony had the distinct feeling that he wasn’t going to get away with this. _Was Rayne with him?_

Keep your calm, Tony. Don’t lose your shit. Of course he was asking question, all Tony had to do was to convince him that everything was fine. Nothing easier than to pull the wool over the eyes of a psychologist who had served years as a double agent. Piece of cake somebody with as big of a mouth as Tony. “Hey, Rebel Yell, calm down for a second. I am okay. Nothing happened. Loki is a piece of work, but I have to admit that he seems rather relaxed. Not as bloodthirsty as he used to be. I think he was only here to fuck with me.” Tony put his sweetest smile on display and tried to reach for Graham’s hand.

What he received in response where narrowed eyes and an expression that told him to cut the bullshit. _What about Rayne?_

Why this fixation on the guy who has a thing for murderous aliens? Was it high time for Tony to get jealous? Sighing in resignation Tony shook his head. “Rayne wasn’t there.”

_What did Loki say about him?_

“Why do you think that he…”

_Tony! I cannot speak but I can still tell when you are lying. You have been lying since I’ve come here. Stop it. What did Loki want? What did he say?_

Considering himself beaten Tony fessed up. “Okay, the short version? Loki pretty such said that he wanted me to break up with you because Rayne doesn’t want you to have any kind of fun in life and the only reason why he hasn’t killed you yet is that… you haven’t been doing too great recently. That’s it. They are both crazy! There are a lot of assumptions going on like they two of us having enough of a serious thing going on so that we actually could break up and the biggest assumption of all… that being with me in one way or another makes you happy.”

Throughout Tony’s really tumultuous life there had been a number of times where he had felt truly miserable, taking into account kidnapping, torture, fear of imminent death. This moment was up there. Granted it wasn’t quite on par with being waterborded, however, Tony’s very soul wanted this instance to pass. Being forced to say all these things out loud in Graham’s presence was stunningly familiar to agonizing physical pain. This was not the time and the place to discuss this with Graham. Topics like ‘Do you think the two of us being a thing could eventually lead to you feeling consummate happiness?’ or ‘Is there any chance of you eventually feeling comfortable in your new life to allow me to become a small part of it?’ should be discussed in an intimate setting on the condition that they had both previously consented to it. Evidently this awkward babbling that Loki had coerced them into was anything but the safe atmosphere that Tony required. Consequently his hatred for Loki was being nurtured, making it grow and foster beneath Tony’s skin. At the moment only his misgivings about what Graham’s reaction would be were weighing heavier on him.

One second bled into another and Graham’s expression had gone changed from worried into confused and eventually into bland and unreadable. Tony’s head was swimming and he thought that there was every chance of dizziness overcoming him.

_Show me the video footage. You must have recorded everything. I need to see it._

“Graham…”

 _Show me._ The urgency was visible in his grey eyes which were wide open and the thoughts they conjured up in Tony’s mind were the ultimate testament to how far he was gone. Even now Tony was preoccupied marvelling at those grey orbs. _I may be able to make more sense out of it than you. Show me._ To put more emphasis on his plea Graham grabbed Tony’s hand, squeezed it softly and Tony was goner.

Mere 45 seconds later Graham was poring over the tablet in his hands that was replaying the scene that had taken place in this very room two hours ago. Tony tried his hardest not to let the very beginning discomfit him, but that attempt was in vain. After all he had kissed Loki who had impersonated Graham and now Graham was watching all of it. Was there a shovel Tony could use to dig a hole and to never come out of again?

Fortunately Tony could just as well have been invisible, Graham took no notice of him, his eyes were glued to the screen. Not content with only going over it once, Graham replayed certain moments over and over again, probably dissecting them in his mind. Patiently Tony waited next to him, shuffling his feet. There was Loki’s voice, resounding over and over again in this room and Tony was tempted to just walk away to escape its reach.

Then another sound joined in. One that Tony had heard before and that was hard getting used to. A man without a voice laughing. It successfully threw him for a loop. “Rebel Yell, what’s going on?”

Quickly Graham put the tablet down to be able to sign. _Forgive me for the usage of unprofessional terms but there is no better way to say it. He is fucking with us. They are fucking with us._

Pressing the back of his hands against his eyes Tony groaned, his frustration audibly flowing out of him. “What do you mean? That was obvious from the very start.”

Graham feverishly shook his head without looking scared or worried. _Not like that. When he said that you had to make a choice before he tells Rayne – that is arrant nonsense. He tries to convince you that Christian doesn’t know about his visit or what Loki is telling you. That is a lie. Rayne is perfectly aware of all of this. Loki would not go behind his back like this. They probably choreographed this little scene together. To get under your skin. To see what we would do… and of course to make us miserable._

“Are you sure?”

_Absolutely. Both of them are deranged, certainly, but their relationship is genuine. Passionate. All-consuming. Nevertheless it emerged from betrayal, lies and falsehoods. We tend to forget that Loki must have been hurt when he found out who Rayne really was. Furious and hurt. The revelation and Rayne choosing him and giving up his old life transformed their relationship into something entirely different. Loki is not going to keep things from him. Especially not of this grandeur. Moreover giving you this kind of choice without Rayne knowing about it would make you Loki’s accomplice. He would be going behind Rayne’s back with you. Under no circumstances would Loki do that._

That even made sense. Those two jerks might be relationship goals. It wasn’t enough to completely reassure Tony though. “Okay, so Rayne knows. That doesn’t change the fact that Loki came here. That he has been watching us. That he threatened us.”

_They are playing with us. I don’t think that there is much of a plan behind in. Loki was honest in this point. He wants to see what’s going to happen. Tomorrow both of them could decide to come back and wage war against all of us. Or forget us. I doubt that though. Rayne does loathe me. I don’t know what they are going to do. Could be nothing. Could be something disastrous._

Exhaling softly Tony let this information sink in. Graham didn’t move, evidently there was nothing left to say. The knowledge that Loki and his sweetheart were keeping an eye on them was unsettling, sure. The inherent danger notwithstanding, Tony wasn’t willing to let his life be dictated by the whims of two maniacs. In addition to that it had now become impossible for Tony to shed the knowledge that until now Graham’s safety had never been guaranteed. Hydra was still lurking in the background and now he had been reminded that Loki and Rayne had also always been in the picture. Couldn’t they find some other hobby?

“Listen…” One word in and Tony was already stumbling. That’s why he had always been better at actions than words when the stakes were high. “Loki showing up did freak me out, but screw that. Screw him and Rayne. I am not going to be ambushed like that again. What I am trying to get at…” Damn, Tony didn’t want to chase him away, but there was obviously no way to go on from here without addressing these utmost important issues. The ones related to trust. “I’ve got just one question. Did you really consider at any point going back to Hydra? Regardless of that even being possible.”

Graham looked straight at him, unafraid. _There was more than one night when I contemplated the thought_

Biting his lip Tony nodded softly. “Alright. Do you still think about it?”

_Less. But yes, I do._

This was one of these moments in life where you had to make the sensible decision. Even Tony was capable of seeing the bigger picture. Some things were too significant and bore too many horrifying implications to be swept under the rug. Tony couldn’t turn a blind eye to this, it was time to admit that he was out of his depth in dealing with this. “Okay, does this tend to happen under specific circumstances?”

 _At night when I have trouble sleeping. Or when I have nothing to do and too much time to think._ Graham answered slowly and a huge responsibility was falling on Tony, one that was too hard to carry for a person without the necessary skill. What Graham required was someone to talk to, a professional preferably. Perhaps later.

“Alright. Then how about I make sure that you are not going to be alone when you can’t sleep and that there’s not going to be another moment of boredom in your life. Fuck Loki, Rayne and Hydra. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not offering to fix you. I guess that’s something you can only do yourself. You are in a fucked up phase of your life and it’s definitely not the best part to get involved with somebody, but I am kind of scared out of my mind that this window might close if I don’t take my chances now.”

A smile spread across Graham’s lips and Tony already felt sorry for Loki if he should try to mess this up for him. _You really have no sense of self-preservation_

“One of my best qualities. So what are you saying? Shit, I’m sorry. That wasn’t… What I meant was…” Graham stopped his embarrassing babbling by kissing him. In that very moment Tony was willing to abandon himself to the illusion that everything could work itself out.

***

Loki dropped the glamour the very second he teleported back to their current dwelling which was in a distinctively different state than when he had left it several hours ago. Dead bodies hadn’t been strewn over the living room floor then. Releasing the tiniest of sighs Loki carefully stepped over the guard with a hole in his chest who was lying right at his feet. This was really inconvenient timing, he had had his boots polished only one day ago. That some blood splatters had ended up on a pile of his books next to the couch was more than a simple inconvenience though, it soured Loki’s formidable mood. Only marginally though.

“Chris?” Loki exclaimed as he made his way through the room which actually resembled a small obstacle course. It definitely would have made things easier for him if they hadn’t died all over the room. Also this latest development called for a change of plans that Loki had not been expecting. Another small inconvenience.

Finally reaching the adjoining room Loki’s eyes instantly fell on the corpse lying between the door and the bed. Next to him was Christian, finishing drying off his hair with a white towel. Obviously he had taken a shower only minutes ago. Loki shot him a look of mild exasperation that was mostly capable of hiding his slight amusement. “Really? After all the work we’ve put into this?”

Raising his head and discarding of the towel Christian had the decency to look sheepish. “I am sorry. My cover got blown.”

Raising an eyebrow Loki tilted his head. “I find that hard to believe, dear.”

“You might as well believe it. It was one of those in the living room. I don’t know what tipped him off which actually enrages me to a point that I just might lose it. However… I am sorry for messing up the plan. I definitely didn’t intent things to go down this way.” Christian slowly explained and the expression on his face emphasised his discontent with the situation. Always so self-critical, it was endearing.

“Well, hardly anything we can do about that now.” Loki pointed out and stepped over one more body to loosely slide an arm around Christian’s waist. “How long ago?”

“About half an hour.”

“Hmm…” Loki mumbled against the other’s cheek. “That means in another 15 minutes or so we have the entire army of this planet knocking down our door.”

“Give or take.” Christian agreed and trailed his fingers lazily down Loki’s spine.

Pulling back slightly Loki let out another sigh. “Time to leave then. There are other mystical artefacts of almost unlimited power that we can steal.”

To his surprise Christian pulled him back in and kissed him sweetly. It didn’t feel like an apology at all, rather like Christian was trying to tease him. That was something Loki didn’t feel like refusing. “The plan might have gone up in flames, but I didn’t say it was unsuccessful.”

Almost feeling a little bit confused Loki studied Christian’s face, his grin before looking over his shoulder and finally spotting the amulet lying on one of the cushions. Satisfaction mingled together with pride and then anticipation of all the things they were going to be able to do with it. “My dearest, will you forgive me for ever doubting you?”

Christian flashed him another grin before grabbing Loki at the lapels of his coat. “Oh, I’ll make you apologize profoundly later on.” Loki got another taste of what that apology was going to entail when Christian kissed him again, more intensely this time. There was no rush to it, just that wonderfully pleasant all-consuming sensation that both of them were chasing all the time. They let minutes turn into seconds, completely wrapped up in each other.

Eventually Christian made a humming noise that gave Loki goose bumps. “So… now that we’ve established what my day was like… what about you? Did you strike fear into the hearts of ordinary men?”

“Just like we discussed.”

“Lovely. How did Stark react?”

“Oh, he was completely smitten with me.”

There wasn’t even time to blink, Christian’s expression darkened this quickly. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Every jealous word had a beautiful melody to it when it passed Christian’s lips. Loki was almost tempted to make matters worse, but then Christian would immediately leave to collect Stark’s head and that would forever cut off a wonderful source of entertainment. “It means…” Loki muttered softly, brushing his lips over Christian’s neck. “… that you were right, dearest. That man is attracted to bad decision making.”

“And Nash?” Christian’s inability to pronounce that name without spite in his voice never failed to make Loki smile. “Willing to cling to him like to a lifeline while the waves are crashing down on him.”

Something about that image clearly appealed to Christian since he captured Loki’s lips in a new kiss while simultaneously walking him backwards till Loki’s back hit the wall. Being caged in between it and Christian was a prison that Loki didn’t mind. In the contrary, he willingly let Christian grab his wrists and also pressed them against the wall. “So you think that appealing to Stark’s protective instinct wouldn’t have been necessary?”

Loki sighed for the third time although this time for a different reason when Christian nuzzled his neck with the tip of his nose. “No, an additional incentive is always a good idea. I do must admit though he made the impression of being… what do you call it? Head over heels for him.”

Christian huffed in indignation and pressed a feathery kiss behind Loki’s ear. “Fool…”

This time Loki couldn’t resist, it was just too easy and he derived so much pleasure from seeing Christian’s eyes burning with rage. It made him shine. “I don’t think he deserves to be called a fool. Nash may have lost his voice, but other features that he still possesses are rather lovely.”

The reaction was imminent and everything that Loki had expected. Christian’s grip around his wrists tightened to an uncomfortable degree, his entire body was leaning into Loki’s, making him feel all of it. “Don’t do that, Loki.”

“Don’t do what? Having fun with that jealously of yours? Or pointing out the obvious like him being…”

“Don’t.”

“Pretty.” Loki enjoyed every single syllable, but his voice turned into a painful gasp. Christian had bitten down on his neck. Hard. It wasn’t like Loki planned on complaining about it and he definitely didn’t get the chance to because Christian kissed him. Sometimes Loki wondered if Christian knew that he kissed the exact same way when he was furious and when he was eager. He was perfect like that. For now Christian was staking his claim and Loki gladly let him. The kiss was messy, almost bruising and it almost made Loki forget what they had been conversing about. Until Christian started talking again which didn’t stop him from punctuating some of the words with more hard kisses. “Are you trying to talk me into simply killing him after all? If so you are doing a good job.”

“That admittedly could be fun. For such a short span of time and it would deny us the pleasure of witnessing Stark losing his mind over losing his sweetheart to the dark side again.”

The hint of a doubt was visible in Christian’s eyes. “And what if he doesn’t? What if he overcomes it?”

Then they could make matters even more interesting. Smirking at him Loki let the glamour wash back over him. With Nash’s lost voice he told Christian that “That can be helped.”

Despite being faced with a person that he despised unlike anybody else in this universe Christian smirked back at him before turning more serious, seemingly intrigued. Letting go of one of Loki’s hands Christian let his fingertips ghost over Loki’s chest. “Just how accurate is this illusion?”

“There is an easy way to find out.”

Brushing his thumb over the ugly scar on Loki’s neck Christian uttered a sound of regret. “What a missed opportunity…”

Loki couldn’t hold back a laugh, but Christian took little notice of it. His hands had already travelled lower, slipping underneath Loki’s shirt. Feeling around for the scar of the gunshot wound Christian pressed his palm flat against it as soon as he had found it. “One of my biggest failures.” He mused and Loki leaned forward to put his lips to his ear. “Don’t pretend you don’t like the feel of it.”

The corner of Christian’s mouth twitched he brought his face back to Loki’s, their lips almost brushing. Loki’s heart skipped a beat. Christian never kissed him when Loki was wearing a glamour, it discomfited him. Now wasn’t any different. “Loki…”He breathed softly and Loki complied without Christian having to ask for it. He never had to.

Christian came over him like a storm, kissing him as if he was trying to devour him. The hand that was still beneath Loki’s shirt slipped lower, to the edge of his trousers. Loki made an encouraging sound against the other’s lips as Christian’s hand slid underneath the fabric. Lost in the sensations Loki put his hand in the back of Christian’s neck, trying to drag him even closer when loud banging against the main door of their dwelling destroyed the perfect moment. There was shouting outside, rage fuelled threats against a thief and murderer. Reluctantly pulling away from Loki’s mouth Christian glanced at the corpse right next to them. “Right… I almost forgot about that.”

Laughing in delight Loki nipped at Christian’s lower lip. “You gorgeous creature…”

The banging on the door intensified as the wood was starting to give in. Finally breaking away Christian picked up the amulet from the bed before joining Loki again and grabbing his hand. “Ready when you are.”

Smiling contently Loki teleported them away and the men coming for them were in for a gruesome greeting.

***

They were cut off from the rest of the world, at least for a couple of hours. Jarvis had clear instructions to block all incoming phone calls unless they were dealing with the actual apocalypse. Tony had sent out a very short message to the few people who had to know because they were going to cause trouble anyway. **I am kind of dating Nash now. Will not discuss this matter before tomorrow – 12 o’clock.**

Hopefully that was going to buy them a night alone time. Until now it had worked out perfectly fine and Tony felt the strong desire to spend all upcoming nights just like this. Preferably for eternity. They were in bed, Tony lying on his stomach, Graham on his side next to him. The room was filled with silence, Tony had his eyes closed, savouring it. That and Graham’s soft touch as he was drawing big letters with his fingertips on Tony’s naked back.

At the beginning Tony had had a bit of trouble telling them apart. Now, half a conversation later, it was perfectly easy.

_They’re not going to leave you alone. Interrogations, psych-evaluations and then they are going to ask you to influence me_

Yes, that was definitely going to happen and Tony already knew how he was going to react to all of that. “I’ve done more interrogations than I can count and with your help I’m going to ace every psych-evaluation they could every throw at me.”

For almost a minute Graham’s hand lay motionlessly on Tony’s back. Just when he was about to turn his head to look at him Graham started writing again. _Right. Are you sure you want all that trouble?_

Now this was something he had to do face to face. Rolling over Tony looked up at Graham who looked doubtful, unsure. It didn’t suit him. Reaching up Tony touched his cheek, relieved when Graham slightly leaned into the touch. Almost hesitantly. “Trouble is rather going to attract me than scare me off. If I need to tell some ex-SHIELD agents and the FBI to mind their own damned business. I couldn’t care less.”

To make things easier Christian grabbed the tablet from the nightstand to make things easier. _It’s not just them. I’m on Hydra’s hit list and Loki isn’t too keen on me either_

“All positives in my book. Hydra wanting to kill you is just another indication of you being a good person and Loki loathes all of us ever since Rayne happened. If you think you are the trouble magnet in this relationship I have to disappoint you. I am Iron Man, I am on everybody’s hit list. What? What is it?”

There was this amused, joyful smile on Graham’s face that which gave Tony the fuzzy feelings and made him feel at the same time as if he had made a fool out of himself. “What?”

Graham wrote the word ‘relationship’ down on the tablet and then hesitated for a second before adding a question mark. He continued to smile though. Tony wasn’t going to crumble under the weight of this word. “Do you have any better suggestions how to call this?”

Shaking his head Graham lay back down next to him, his hand resting on Tony’s chest. Right next to the arc reactor. Awfully close to his heart. This was good. Probably fleeting and so beautifully fragile. Tony would have to build a different kind of armour to keep it safe. And to keep it. Him.


End file.
